MYSTREY

The Heart is a Mystrey we never know what is in the Heart, we never know what people keep in their hearts, we always want to know and we sometimes will never know, its a mystrey, no one knows, not even the owner of the heart knows what they sometimes feel, out of it there is love, hatred, happiness, sadness, pain and joy, all of this are in the heart it is truely a mystrey to me. A friend of mine One day told me, "Haryet, always follow your heart, your heart will never lie and do what your heart tells you" boy i took it and it is true, your heart will never lie, but if i myself do not even know what my heart is saying how then will i know the truth, its a mystrey, my heart is a mystrey but i have choosen to listen to her anyway, and the few times i have, or rather many i have know how true it has been and how true my heart has always been, i will follow what she says even when my mind does not understand, and right now, she knows the right direction but she is scared, and i will follow her anyway.
i have trained my heart to Love and they say "Love never fails"i have let her walk in love, i have let her take me where she wants me to go as long as it is in love. one of my favourite quotes it "you can close your eyes to the things you don't wanna see but you can not close your Heart to the things you don't wanna feel" it has worked for me and it has helped me open up, it has helped me be a better person, it is in my heart. At this point, am griped with fear, but my heart tells me it is going to be alright if i can let her rule, and let her be and let her lead me, she is up for a "wounderful friendshp" and am going to side with her, i never want to do what she does not want and have to regret all my life, how she works i have no idea all i know is when i do what she wants am at peace. there is one thing i say that has somethng in common with my heart. Father(GOD), he is a mystrey, the bible says he is love and when you recieve him you recieve Love, i guess i have that mystrey in my heart, Love, no body understands it and everybody wants it, everybody thinks it will all be smooth and they forget it can sometimes be rough, but the heart understands and it is still a mystrey to me how she understands all these, i choose to follow my heart i choose to follow the mystrey.Three things are beyond me, four i do not understand, The way of an eagle in the sky, the way of the snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the sea and the way of a man with a young woman.MYSTREY

AM LUO, Who are you?!?

On the last Day of the conference, we watched a documentary titled " the Gorvernance Gap" it forcused on northern Uganda, made me Proud again that i was an Acholi, Pround to be part of them, When you are born, you never choose who you want your parents to be and in the same way you never choose what tribe you want to belong to or which country you want to belong to, i am Ugandan i i was born in Uganda, i am proud to be coming from the tribe of Acholi, watching this documentary made me remember my grandparents and all the people in northern Uganda who suffered the war, made me both sad and Strong in a way that i can do something for my people, that i can restore the hope that they once lost can be restored, i prayed and asked father what can i do, how can i be of help to the people who speak my mother tongue to the people who are crying out there, they are afraid, they do not know what to do,they are hopeless and yet they still stand everyday and hope things will get better, some resort to alcohol to hide their fears and frustrations, some commit suicide and others run away from hoem, some join the army not becausethey want to but it it the last resort they do not know what to do or wehre to go they have lost their culture, their childhood and their youth, they have lost their gender identities in terms of providing for their families when it comes to the men and the women have lost their values due to being raped,they do not feel like they are part of Uganda, they feel neglected and rejected, they do not know their crime they cry out for forgiveness and do not know what wrong they have done, they are my people, they are Acholi People, they are Luo.
the life they once know is now gone, they gracefully danced in circles and lifted each other in praise, and now their songs are sad even as they dance in circles their songs now is about how many loved ones they have lost and how hopeless life is .Can i change the songs again, can i help them compose new songs of restoration and hope, can i help then still dance in circles and maintain the culture, can i help them in anyway, whether we like it or not we can not change the past but i am sure we can change the future, What can i do for the future Generation of my people in Northern Uganda, Kitgum district? what can i do Father Help me Help me God, its not my fault that i Am LUO.

The Child in Me

Been at a stage in my life where i just wanted to run away from me and be someone else, it was a time that i had never thought i would get to ever in my life. i guess we grow up, the child in me just wants to be young, i wish i had not grown i would not be feeling the way i feel, i would not be getting butterflies in my stomach when i meet this boy and i would not worry if he responded to my questions or not, the child in me loved to laugh and play, nothing serious, all that mattered was food and i know mum would always be there to give me food. I knew i would always have someone to talk to when all was not fine, not to talk about secret issues that i would not want other people to know but general issues that did not make sence to me.
The child in me still wants that, i hate that i have to see this boy and have my heart skip, i hate that he is not talking to me, i hate that i will have to explain and try to understand what i am feeling for him, the child in me never know she would ever get to this stage of life, and now that she has reached there, she needs to adjust, it is painful because she does not want to, it is painful because she has been rejected, because she did not know what to do with what she was feeling, she opened up her heart and she was rejected, how she cries and hopes things will be better , how she wishes all had worked out well with the boy she loved, how she wishes she had not grown up to feel this way.

Luckly for her she has a Father(GOD) Who cares for her, who lets her know there is time for everything, and this is the time for her to feel what she feels, the time is ripe for her to grow, she is becoming a woman, she is growing up and Father has promised to be with her all the way.She is A WOMAN, its a Transformation time.
I do not take for granted all the people that come into my life, some come and stay for moments while others come and stay for long, it does not matter the period they always make impact, and Yes he left no stone unturned, he made impact in my life he came in and went out he left the child in me grow, Father used him to let me know i am a woman and it is ok, and all is well, he wrapped me under his wings and let me know he is with me all the way through all the pain, i do not regret having the feeling because father says it is ok, now i understand when father says Love is as Strong as Death, i now understand when father sends me to talk to all my sisters who have gone through what i have gone through i now understand and am sure father let him come into my life so i can be able to do his work better.

I did not lose myself after this situation, i was hurt and had a part of my heart broken father is mending it and giving me strenght everyday to pass through this and he has never stopped letting me know how much he loves me and how valuable i am and how precious i am, letting me know and reminding me again that i am a princess and a Treasure more so that Charm is decieptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who Fears the Lord will be praised.

I NEED ME BACK(Messed Up)

At this moment, i am in a mess, am not sure what is going on in my life and everything seems to be going to the wrong direction, i need guidance and direction.
this month has had me tossed up and down with emotional changes and this has kept me cracked. i need to get back to myself i need to find me again, i need to get back to who i am. i feel like a part of me has been taken and i do not know who has taken it and i want it back, i want me back, i need me back, it is the worst stage to be in and it is the worst i have been it, guess when change comes without you knowing you kind of loose yourself, i need me back, even as i write this am not really thinking right, two day ago i had allergy attacks and had to be rushed to hospital that night and at one point i though i was going to die, today i had to rush Justine(my cousin) to hospital after she has been hit by a car, this is terrible, i had to rush my sister Sarah to hospital the other day when she came back from school after having an accident adn she got a clot in her head, its crazy my life is crazy right now and i hate it.
one of my friends, my spiritual mum i s leaving the country soon, a friend left yesterday, and everyone around me does not seem to be fine at all, its all in a mess.Both in office and at work am confused, i have school and i can not read with all these things in my mind, i can not study and yet i need to study. i can not wait till i finish with school soon what a relief that will be i will celebrate i will be happy but for now i need to focus one thing at a time.
Am in pain, am grieving all these things scilently who am i supposed to tell? i don't know so i will write it here knowing someone will read and hopefully Pray for me.
I am Messed uP right now........................................:(

The Life i ONCE knew

Where i lived, people live in communities and got to know each other very well, everyone knews what was happening in each others lives, we did not have to use phones, or any electric gadget to get to one another.
The richest possession one had was a bicycle and cows, when you had many cows you and your family were the richest people in the community.
People shared everything with their neighbours, from food to celebrations and work. there was immeasurable concern about you from everyone, life was amazing, the few times i was there i always enjoyed the dances in the evenings and the weekends, the stars were so beautiful in the sky, the moon so full, it was the only source of light so Beautiful, we sat around the fire in the evenings and listened to grandpa telling stories as grandma, was getting the food ready, it was beautiful, we did not care about any dangers, we were never worried about what tomorrow would bring, it was a life taken care of, we always slept at the fire place listening to the stories but wake up in the little hut(bedroom) in the cold, by the time you remember to coil up into the blankets its already mornig and your friends are calling out for you to go to the gardem, the dew in the mornig felt so cold and nice as we playing on our way. We would have wild friuts for early breakfast and get back for a hot cup of porradge made by grandma so good.................and off we go again into the forest to look for firewood, by the time we come back lunch is ready, we always moved from one place to another until we find a place with music or a celebration going on, no invitations were passed around everyone was always welcome anytime and there was always enough food for everyone. It was the Best of the life i knew, I have seen my Home town before the War, During the War and After the War, It is the most Beautiful Place i have been to Before the war, and now all is gone, the people, the homes, Laughter and the music is all gone, the people have lost hope in life, the are so careless about life now, no body cares about anything anymore, the Men are wasted, the drink from morning to evening, the women are joining them too, leaving the children all by themselves, no parental care or anything like that, nature takes care of these children, they nolonger have any cultural norms or respect and ways of living extended out to them, it is a wasted generation now. it is different, it is not as fun as it used to be and not as beautiful as it used to be it is still my home.
The times i spent there are Priceless and it is still the life i once knew.
It was the Life i Knew before everything Changed.