Been at a stage in my life where i just wanted to run away from me and be someone else, it was a time that i had never thought i would get to ever in my life. i guess we grow up, the child in me just wants to be young, i wish i had not grown i would not be feeling the way i feel, i would not be getting butterflies in my stomach when i meet this boy and i would not worry if he responded to my questions or not, the child in me loved to laugh and play, nothing serious, all that mattered was food and i know mum would always be there to give me food. I knew i would always have someone to talk to when all was not fine, not to talk about secret issues that i would not want other people to know but general issues that did not make sence to me.
The child in me still wants that, i hate that i have to see this boy and have my heart skip, i hate that he is not talking to me, i hate that i will have to explain and try to understand what i am feeling for him, the child in me never know she would ever get to this stage of life, and now that she has reached there, she needs to adjust, it is painful because she does not want to, it is painful because she has been rejected, because she did not know what to do with what she was feeling, she opened up her heart and she was rejected, how she cries and hopes things will be better , how she wishes all had worked out well with the boy she loved, how she wishes she had not grown up to feel this way.
Luckly for her she has a Father(GOD) Who cares for her, who lets her know there is time for everything, and this is the time for her to feel what she feels, the time is ripe for her to grow, she is becoming a woman, she is growing up and Father has promised to be with her all the way.She is A WOMAN, its a Transformation time.
I do not take for granted all the people that come into my life, some come and stay for moments while others come and stay for long, it does not matter the period they always make impact, and Yes he left no stone unturned, he made impact in my life he came in and went out he left the child in me grow, Father used him to let me know i am a woman and it is ok, and all is well, he wrapped me under his wings and let me know he is with me all the way through all the pain, i do not regret having the feeling because father says it is ok, now i understand when father says Love is as Strong as Death, i now understand when father sends me to talk to all my sisters who have gone through what i have gone through i now understand and am sure father let him come into my life so i can be able to do his work better.
I did not lose myself after this situation, i was hurt and had a part of my heart broken father is mending it and giving me strenght everyday to pass through this and he has never stopped letting me know how much he loves me and how valuable i am and how precious i am, letting me know and reminding me again that i am a princess and a Treasure more so that Charm is decieptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who Fears the Lord will be praised.
Firstly I think you are out of the danger zone. I think you are moving to the greater places. Secondly I think the girl in you is only confused at what is happening to the woman in you. She has not Idea what the woman is going through and wonders why she has to be locked up in the bedroom all the time.
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I think you are right, The girl in me was trying to recognise how the woman in me was dealing with the situations but now both the girl and woman in me are working together. They have learnt to support one another, just like the caterpillar and butterfly are one and the same, so the girl and woman are one and the same
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